8:01 p.m. Baby formula was reported stolen from the 1500 block of Solano.
But was it used to feed a hungry baby or in someone’s coffee?
12:26 p.m. A truck turning onto San Pablo from Solano reportedly “tore off part of the green traffic light” in front of Max’s Liquors.
4:54 a.m. Someone woken up by noises outside called to report a male “recycling bandit” in the 100 block of Talbot Avenue working his way north “being loud.”
Those recycling bandits really should be more conscious of how early it is when they’re stealing and how some of us would rather be sleeping at that hour.
11:58 a.m. Someone reported a middle-aged man several minutes earlier taking pictures of buildings at Albany Middle School. The caller “got a ‘creepy vibe'” from the man.
Yeah, you can never trust building photographers—they are a creepy bunch.
12:49 p.m. Police gave a driver a warning after receiving a report that two children had been left inside his or her vehicle in front of CVS.
Is it that the police officer who wrote up the report couldn’t tell if the driver was male or female, or was he/she just trying to be gender-inclusive?
9:41 p.m. Someone reported six to seven kids walking east on Brighton knocking down trash cans.
If their parents had just left them in a vehicle in front of CVS, they wouldn’t be out on Brighton causing trouble.
9:34 a.m. A caller on Talbot “reported having found several cars that were sprayed with silly string. He just wanted to let [the Police Department] know.”
I’m sure Albany PD appreciated the information.
6:31 p.m. Someone visited the Police Department lobby “requesting to take a picture with a cop for a friend’s birthday.” Miscellaneous public service provided.
But did that “miscellaneous public service” involve a camera or not?
7 p.m. Someone reported a loud party in a front yard on Adams Street.
Hey, that was even on my birthday, but I wasn’t invited…
9:18 p.m. Someone reported a “noisy street party” at Dartmouth Street and Masonic Avenue.
I guess my invitation got lost in the mail…
11:37 p.m. Someone reported a “loud party” on Talbot Avenue.
Who wants to be invited to your silly old party anyway?
8:48 a.m. A woman on Curtis Street reported “having a problem with her neighbor’s dog defecating on her property and near her vehicle.” According to the police bulletin, she said she “would like a call back.”
Luckily the Albany PD isn’t too busy to console a woman whose property smells like dog poo.
12 p.m. Someone reported four wires down in front of Al’s Big Burger. Miscellaneous public service provided.
Are these telephone wires? Electrical wires? Mailgrams? Orthodontia?
4:41 p.m. Someone at the Albany Library reported being “punched in the chest” by another patron after the caller “bumped into” him or her. Case report taken.
That’s what happens when someone tries to get to James Patterson’s newest novel when it’s being shelved. It’s everyone out for himself!