Taking signs from wherever they come

toiletIt seems an odd topic, I know, but it occurred to me today that within the last ten days, I’ve had three encounters with dark bathrooms.

Not dark, as in evil, gloomy, or somber–just dark as in an absence of light. Two of the incidents in question were at friends’ houses where I didn’t know the exact location of the light switch but figured I didn’t need much guidance to find the toilet, so I ventured trustingly into the dark. The other was in a public place where the lights ordinarily go on automatically, but something must not have been working.

In any case, three times seems like a lot. Especially compared to the number of previous instances when I’ve attempted to use such facilities in the dark, which is zero. Perhaps I’m just getting cocky in my old age and figure I’ve done this particular activity so many times in my life that I could do it in my sleep. (And in fact, I probably have.)

The first time I was the unwitting victim of a male who did not think it necessary to put down the toilet seat. After all, anyone who used the loo would presumably turn on the lights first. I mean, what kind of doofus goes in the dark? Luckily, I did not plop down confidently on the porcelain, so I caught myself before I ended up taking an unscheduled tushy bath.

The second time I couldn’t immediately find the light switch, but I knew basically where the toilet was because I’d used the restroom earlier when it was still light outside and electric illumination was not required. But I hadn’t remembered that the cat’s water fountain (yes, fountain–not dish) was right next to the toilet, so I inadvertently dunked my hand when reaching for the t.p. No biggy.

Today, I entered a public restroom that was designated as a women’s room, so I never thought to check whether the seat was down or up. My theory is that it had just been cleaned, since I’ve occasionally noticed custodial practice. Again, I was fortunate that I crouched tentatively and so averted a wet disaster.

So I have no tales of woe stemming from my recent dark bathroom adventures, but I think if I’m smart, I won’t risk it again. Perhaps the universe has given me ample warning, and I shouldn’t ignore the signs. I vow that, in the future, I will not blithely go about my business when I cannot see where I’m sitting. Okay, most people would just call that common sense, but I’m calling it a new rule to live by.

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